Quarantine Snack Queen
By Alex Menez
Here I am writing to you all from my cave/sitting room. It's been interesting you know, living through a worldwide pandemic, these are the things I used to see in movies and be like “bahahah ni chan”. Oh boi, oh boi, oh boi was I wrong.
Anyways dudes I’m not here to make you sad or remind you of all the odd negativities floating around you at the moment - I am simply here to make you think about food (as if you're not already thinking about getting up to check out what’s in the fridge as if anything has changed since you had a look 15 minutes ago).
Aqui estamos tirao en el couch binge watching todo lo shows de Netflix que nos da la gana (ui y also working) y comiendo nuestro bag “de mierda”.
I’ve been wondering since before lockdown began and I really want to know; Do you all have a bag of mierda in your house?
Now we do and until this lockdown, we never needed one.
We spend hours and hours staring at a yellow bag for life filled to the brim with all of Ramsons’ snacks, the entire M&S shortbread cookie selection (TRY THE PISTACHIO ONE) and finally their delightful sweetie selection too. We even have like three easter eggs hiding in there. It’s getting worse as all these apps have made it so easy for me to get my hands on Binky’s baklavas which essentially is great for my mental health but not for the thickness of my thighs.
This Morrisons bag for life filled with delightful stuff is really testing my willpower and showing me that “Yes, you are nothing but a sugar hungry child who wants an entire caja de Family Circle”.
Oh don't even get me started on bread guys. I think we have inflated/tried every loaf out there from M&S Challah loaf to Morrisons' banging brown bread.
Now amigos, sadly the bag of mierda must be burnt off so I really hope you all make it outside to walk off all that sugar without a Llanito making an inspirational status about you being outside exercising legally during lockdown.
P.S. Wash your feet (not just your hands)